What is the Accountable Version?

Today was our final presentation for my College Essential class. I just wanted to share cause I really enjoyed writing and presenting it. :) Our assignment was a one page paper on something that would help us become better students. I choose Accountability as my topic.

As a student it really seems that excuses for behaviors come up a lot. Some excuses include, my alarm didn’t go off, I was never told when the paper was due, or I am late because I got pulled over on the way to school. I am sure we have heard it all, and not just from classmates, but in our own heads as well. I know when I am not able to make it to class, I think of all of the good reasons that I can not make it rather than focusing on how I could have chosen differently. When I am accountable for my own actions it opens up a world of solutions that I wouldn’t see if I was blaming the issue on someone else. When I have more solutions to any given obstacle I will be more successful as a student.

It was my choice not to set up a back up alarm, it was my choice to speed and that is why I got pulled over, I did not check the syllabus or the class website, that is why I didn’t know when the paper was due. These were all choices that I made. These things did not happen to me at random to “make” me have a bad day. This was definitely a new way of thinking for me, to look at my world and acknowledge that everything in my life is my own creation. Whether good or bad, it was my choice to be in the situation that I am in. The simple act of being aware of the choices that I have made to create the situation that I am in, gives me the power to change my situation instead of being victim to my circumstances. I alone have the power to create the life I want. I alone have the power to create the grades I want. If I get a grade that I am not happy with I get to ask myself, “What did I do to create that grade? And how can I choose differently next time?” If I feel that I did not get a good grade because of the teacher, or the subject matter I will feel no responsibility to do something differently. It is not an easy way to view the world. When I am really down about something that is happening in my life, the last thing I want to do is take responsibility for it. Being accountable for my situation and circumstances should not make me feel badly about myself. It is simply a tool to learn from previous choices that got me what I did not want, to making new choices to give me what I do want.

When I am telling a story about something that is happening to me, even if I am talking to myself, if I start to blame someone or something for what is happening to me, I will ask myself, “What is the accountable version?” For everything in my life that makes me unhappy I know that I made the decision to be in the situation that led to those things. Once I stop blaming my circumstances for my circumstances, only then will I be able to change them. When one of my children tells me that another child hit them, I always ask them what they did to deserve it. Although hitting is never okay, I also know that children don’t normally hit unprovoked. We are taught from a young age to be accountable for our own actions. If you don’t want to get hit, then don’t hit. It is a simple concept that if you don’t like where your choices have led you, then make different choices. I think the hard part is acknowledging that your actions and choices are what led to the circumstances that you are in. Just like the child that just got hit, the last thing they want to admit is that it was because of what they did. The way that we speak is a powerful tool. Whenever I catch myself saying that I “have to” do something, I just smile to myself and acknowledge that everything is a choice. If I feel like I “have to” study for a test, I just adjust my attitude and remember that I have chosen to get an A in that class. Once my attitude has changed I can say that I “get to” or I “choose to” study for this test. This makes the experience of studying much better for me.

I will become a better student by perfecting this type of thinking. I will become a powerful and creative creator of my circumstances rather than be victim to them. I will have good grades because it is in my control and I create the reality I live in.