If you ever want to see just how strong you are emotionally I would suggest joining any branch of the Military. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever gone through emotionally. Something I would have never guessed when I made the decision. Although I would not take this decision back for anything.
I get asked quite often why I wanted to join the Military. Some ask me in a way as if to say What in the world would make you want to do something that crazy? Some ask because they are surprised but I curious to know what made me make such a big change. Some ask me because they are truly grateful for the choices I am making. Well, I want to answer that question here on my blog. :)
What made me join?
Have you ever had an aha moment? One of those moments where the world makes complete sense for the first time in a long time? An inner peace you find when you make a really big decision and you know it was the right one? I have had that happen to me a few times. Two very important times in the past year. The first was when I realized when and why Daniel and I needed to get married (another story... perhaps another time) And the second, I will go into more detail now. As most of you know I have been going to school full time and help support my family through scholarships alone. I am signed up on every known site that helps you win or earn money for school. One day in November I got an advertisement email from the National Guard because they will pay for school. That hit an old nerve in me that has always wanted to serve my country. Daniel was sitting next to me in that moment and I just jokingly said that maybe I should join the National Guard. We both kind of laughed it off. That night at about 2 AM I woke up and knew without a doubt that this was the answer for me and for my family. I did not know what it was an answer to, I just knew that everything about it felt right. I was at peace with a decision I did not even know I was about to make. Over the next two weeks I would make little jokes about going to boot camp or joining the guard, we always just laughed it off. I thought, there is no way I can leave my family for that long. Besides we were planning a wedding and there were other things going on as well. I realized after the 20th joke or so that I really wasn't kidding and I asked Daniel what he thought about it. I was pretty scared to ask him because that is a major thing to ask someone to support. He just answered very sweetly that he thought that would be awesome and that he would support me 100%. And to this day he has not gone back on that promise. Even when I am scared or hurting, even when he is faced with being a single Dad to my children, he has not doubted this decision. I talked to a recruiter on Dec. 13th, which just happens to be the National Guards birthday. I took the ASVAB a couple of days later and scored 96 of a possible 99. I could have any job the National Guard has to offer. I will be Human Resources for the Special Forces. This is a job that I will be proud of.
Okay now that I answered that seemingly simple question, I want to get back to the part that has been the most emotionally challenging. Maybe I did not know what to expect, but I certainly did not expect what has been happening. There are three reactions that I get when someone finds out that I have joined the military. I get told in a "nice and gentle" way that I am a bad parent. That I am doing something wrong to my children. And I should think more about my family. I know it kind of sounds crazy, but yes there have been more people that have used this approach with me than I care to think about. It makes me sad enough that I have spent more than my share of time crying. I just need to say that I have no doubt that I am doing what is right for my family. And contrary to popular belief I am doing this for my family, and not to them. I think the reason it hurts me so much is that the people that have this reaction do not have faith in me and my instincts as a Mother. They do not believe that I would never do anything that is not in the best interest of my children and my family.
The second type of reaction is very rare, but very appreciated. It mostly comes from strangers. But their reaction is that they are proud of me and very grateful that I am going to bepart of the military that protects them. This instills that sense of pride and brings tears to my eyes because a total stranger feels indebted to me because of what I am willing to do for their freedom.
The third response, which I have only gotten from a couple of people I want to share with you now. When I told my long time friend, Shannon that I was joining the National Guard, she asked all the questions, the where and when and those kind of things. I told her that I wasn't sure how she felt about the military so I wasn't sure if she would try to talk me out of it. (She is always looking out for my best interest) And her response? "Lisa, I know you would never do anything that was not right for your family, and so I am happy for you, and I know without a doubt that it is the best thing for your family." The second was my dear Grandma Davies. Her response? "Lisa, I am so proud of you. Of the two of you. For doing what you know in your heart to be right. I am so very proud. Thank you." I bawled for a half hour. I have been having a hard day with the emotional roller coaster and she said exactly what I needed to hear so badly. Both of these people have such unconditional support for me and the decisions I make in my life. That feels good enough to make me cry. I am so very grateful for this type of support.
I think what hurts worse than any response is the no response from the people that are supposed to be closest to me. Maybe they just don't have anything good to say. I don't know. But what I do know is that I need everyone's unconditional support in such a major decision. I am a good mom. I am a good wife. I look forward to serving and protecting each and every person in this country.
I am proud to be an American.
I get asked quite often why I wanted to join the Military. Some ask me in a way as if to say What in the world would make you want to do something that crazy? Some ask because they are surprised but I curious to know what made me make such a big change. Some ask me because they are truly grateful for the choices I am making. Well, I want to answer that question here on my blog. :)
What made me join?
Have you ever had an aha moment? One of those moments where the world makes complete sense for the first time in a long time? An inner peace you find when you make a really big decision and you know it was the right one? I have had that happen to me a few times. Two very important times in the past year. The first was when I realized when and why Daniel and I needed to get married (another story... perhaps another time) And the second, I will go into more detail now. As most of you know I have been going to school full time and help support my family through scholarships alone. I am signed up on every known site that helps you win or earn money for school. One day in November I got an advertisement email from the National Guard because they will pay for school. That hit an old nerve in me that has always wanted to serve my country. Daniel was sitting next to me in that moment and I just jokingly said that maybe I should join the National Guard. We both kind of laughed it off. That night at about 2 AM I woke up and knew without a doubt that this was the answer for me and for my family. I did not know what it was an answer to, I just knew that everything about it felt right. I was at peace with a decision I did not even know I was about to make. Over the next two weeks I would make little jokes about going to boot camp or joining the guard, we always just laughed it off. I thought, there is no way I can leave my family for that long. Besides we were planning a wedding and there were other things going on as well. I realized after the 20th joke or so that I really wasn't kidding and I asked Daniel what he thought about it. I was pretty scared to ask him because that is a major thing to ask someone to support. He just answered very sweetly that he thought that would be awesome and that he would support me 100%. And to this day he has not gone back on that promise. Even when I am scared or hurting, even when he is faced with being a single Dad to my children, he has not doubted this decision. I talked to a recruiter on Dec. 13th, which just happens to be the National Guards birthday. I took the ASVAB a couple of days later and scored 96 of a possible 99. I could have any job the National Guard has to offer. I will be Human Resources for the Special Forces. This is a job that I will be proud of.
Okay now that I answered that seemingly simple question, I want to get back to the part that has been the most emotionally challenging. Maybe I did not know what to expect, but I certainly did not expect what has been happening. There are three reactions that I get when someone finds out that I have joined the military. I get told in a "nice and gentle" way that I am a bad parent. That I am doing something wrong to my children. And I should think more about my family. I know it kind of sounds crazy, but yes there have been more people that have used this approach with me than I care to think about. It makes me sad enough that I have spent more than my share of time crying. I just need to say that I have no doubt that I am doing what is right for my family. And contrary to popular belief I am doing this for my family, and not to them. I think the reason it hurts me so much is that the people that have this reaction do not have faith in me and my instincts as a Mother. They do not believe that I would never do anything that is not in the best interest of my children and my family.
The second type of reaction is very rare, but very appreciated. It mostly comes from strangers. But their reaction is that they are proud of me and very grateful that I am going to bepart of the military that protects them. This instills that sense of pride and brings tears to my eyes because a total stranger feels indebted to me because of what I am willing to do for their freedom.
The third response, which I have only gotten from a couple of people I want to share with you now. When I told my long time friend, Shannon that I was joining the National Guard, she asked all the questions, the where and when and those kind of things. I told her that I wasn't sure how she felt about the military so I wasn't sure if she would try to talk me out of it. (She is always looking out for my best interest) And her response? "Lisa, I know you would never do anything that was not right for your family, and so I am happy for you, and I know without a doubt that it is the best thing for your family." The second was my dear Grandma Davies. Her response? "Lisa, I am so proud of you. Of the two of you. For doing what you know in your heart to be right. I am so very proud. Thank you." I bawled for a half hour. I have been having a hard day with the emotional roller coaster and she said exactly what I needed to hear so badly. Both of these people have such unconditional support for me and the decisions I make in my life. That feels good enough to make me cry. I am so very grateful for this type of support.
I think what hurts worse than any response is the no response from the people that are supposed to be closest to me. Maybe they just don't have anything good to say. I don't know. But what I do know is that I need everyone's unconditional support in such a major decision. I am a good mom. I am a good wife. I look forward to serving and protecting each and every person in this country.
I am proud to be an American.
2 people care about this post, besides me! :):
Lisa, thanks for sharing your thoughts. You have always done what is best for your kids, and actions speak louder than words. What a tremendous example you are setting for your kids. That is more important that you being there every day to make a pb& j sandwich. You are showing them what it means to make a big decision, what it means to be brave and unselfish, what it means to be a part of something bigger and better than just yourself. That's an example you can't tell your kids about- you can only show them. Congratulations on making that decision, Lisa. Count me among the supporters :)
I love you! For reasons you will never know, but as I said before, I am proud of you and have always trusted your instincts. You are a great mom and an awesome friend! I wish you the best of luck! You are going to be great at it!
Post a Comment